I’ve been busy.
It’s easy to say. People accept this explanation so readily and without question that it is often the first excuse that rolls off my tongue when someone inquires as to where I’ve been or why I haven’t been writing recently. And sometimes it’s absolutely true.
I’m working outside the home presently, in addition to managing Jackson’s therapy schedule and doctors appointments. Add in the fact that I’m also trying to start a business all while grasping at straws each night as I attempt to keep my home from looking like a hurricane has just passed through it…so yes, I’m am often busy.
But, if you’ve heard this from me in the last month or so…I’m sorry. I was lying.
I’m not busy.
I was reluctant to write this post, and have been even more reluctant to hit publish…the proof being that these words have been sitting in the draft folder for days.
This feeling that has crept up inside of me has stolen the joy out of things, dreamy moments which would normally fill me with warmth and light. And I pushed forward and attempted to enjoy my travels and Jackson’s milestones anyway, forced smiles…phony enthusiasm and all, but there was always this dull lingering ache that wouldn’t -and still hasn’t- passed.
I have hundreds of photos and SO MANY things I want to share with you, but all this time I’ve been trying to write and the words just won’t come.
I’ve sought out help now…and I feel that I’m slowly moving back towards my normal.
I’m very much looking forward to getting back in the swing of things soon, because I genuinely miss sharing here.
Even if no one reads these words, it’s still good for me to write them.